Denton and my infertility journey started in 2010, at the time we had no idea how long and emotional it would be or how it would end.
Our Infertility Story
Our love story unfolded in the idyllic setting of Paradise, California. Both in our mid-30s, we found ourselves drawn together in a serendipitous encounter that would alter the course of our lives forever. In the midst of the quaint charm of our surroundings, our connection blossomed swiftly, and after just five months of dating, we made a commitment to each other that would endure a lifetime.
On a crisp December 31st evening in 2010, beneath a canopy of stars, we exchanged vows and embarked on a journey of shared dreams and aspirations. But even before our wedding day, amidst the whirlwind of romance and anticipation, there was a conversation that would shape the very foundation of our relationship.
It was during those early days of courtship that I broached the topic of adoption with Denton. Infertility, a silent struggle for many, loomed as a potential obstacle in our path, and I knew that clarity and honesty were paramount in forging a future together. With a heart brimming with hope and trepidation, I posed the question, unsure of what his response might entail.
To my immense relief and joy, Denton’s answer was swift and resolute. “Of course we will adopt,” he declared without hesitation, his unwavering commitment echoing through the depths of my soul. In that moment, I knew that our love transcended biological bonds and societal norms – it was rooted in a shared desire to nurture, to love, and to build a family bound not by blood, but by unwavering devotion.
And so, armed with a mutual understanding and a steadfast resolve, we embarked on our journey hand in hand, navigating the twists and turns of life with unwavering faith in each other and the promise of a future filled with love, laughter, and the pitter-patter of little feet.
After a year of unsuccessful attempts to conceive – a milestone marking the painful journey through infertility that so many couples know all too well – we knew it was time to take action. With heavy hearts and a sense of determination, we embarked on a path fraught with uncertainty, yet brimming with hope.
Our journey began with a series of medical tests – blood work, ultrasounds, and a Hysteroscopy – each one a testament to our unwavering commitment to unraveling the mysteries that lay at the heart of our infertility. Yet, despite the exhaustive battery of tests, the answers remained elusive. It was a frustrating and disheartening realization, one that left us grappling with a sense of helplessness and despair.
In medical parlance, our diagnosis was labeled as “unexplained infertility” – a term that offered little solace and even less clarity. It was a diagnosis of exclusion, a recognition that despite our best efforts, the underlying cause of our inability to conceive remained shrouded in mystery.
Frustrated by the lack of progress and disheartened by a not-so-pleasant visit with an infertility specialist in California, we found ourselves at a crossroads. It was then that we made the decision to do the unexpected – to embark on a journey of hope and healing that would take us far beyond the confines of our familiar surroundings.
Enter medical tourism – a concept as unconventional as it was promising. With open minds and hopeful hearts, we set our sights on destinations known for their expertise in reproductive medicine, casting aside geographical boundaries in pursuit of the answers we so desperately sought.
It was a decision born out of necessity, driven by a shared determination to leave no stone unturned in our quest for parenthood. And so, armed with a sense of adventure and a willingness to embrace the unknown, we set forth on a journey that would test the limits of our courage and resilience.
Discovering Medical Tourism
Everything came together when we met Dr. Jaroslav Hulvert with ISCARE.
After extensive research, ISCARE emerged as a beacon of hope – a renowned leader in the field of IVF with a reputation for excellence and innovation. With hearts full of anticipation and trepidation, we made the decision to entrust our hopes and dreams to their capable hands.
But our journey was not just about medical treatments and procedures; it was also about embracing the unexpected and finding joy in the midst of uncertainty. On four separate occasions, we traveled to ISCARE, transforming each visit into an opportunity to reconnect with friends, explore new surroundings, and find solace in the beauty of the world around us.
Amidst the whirlwind of appointments and treatments, we discovered moments of profound connection and shared intimacy – moments that served as a reminder of the strength of our bond and the resilience of the human spirit. And though the road was fraught with challenges and setbacks, we refused to lose sight of the love that sustained us through it all.
Despite our best efforts, success remained elusive, and the dream of carrying a pregnancy to term seemed increasingly out of reach. The journey was not without its heartbreaks, as we grappled with the pain of dashed hopes and shattered dreams. Yet, in the midst of it all, there were moments of grace and beauty that served as a testament to the enduring power of love and resilience.
The longest I was able to carry a pregnancy was seven weeks, a bittersweet milestone that filled our hearts with both joy and sorrow. Though the journey was fraught with uncertainty and disappointment, it was also a journey of love – a journey that brought us closer together and taught us the true meaning of resilience and perseverance.
And so, as we look back on our journey through infertility – a journey marked by pain, loss, and uncertainty – we do so with a sense of gratitude and humility.
The Hurt of Our Infertility
It would be remiss of me to share our infertility journey without delving into the profound heartbreak that accompanied it. Every step of the way, we were confronted with the harsh reality of our struggle – the dashed hopes, the shattered dreams, and the relentless onslaught of disappointment.
In the midst of it all, we found ourselves navigating uncharted territory – grappling not only with the physical challenges of infertility but also with the emotional toll it exacted on our spirits. Countless nights were spent wrestling with the gnawing sense of inadequacy and the crushing weight of unfulfilled dreams.
Every book I read on infertility seemed to echo the same refrain – tales of couples torn apart by blame and resentment, their once-solid foundations crumbling under the weight of unmet expectations. And yet, ours was a different story altogether. Instead of driving us apart, our journey through infertility served to strengthen the bonds that held us together.
The Healing of Our Infertility
I can’t speak for Denton, but for me, the journey was one of profound self-discovery and healing. It forced me to confront the deep-seated wounds that lay buried within – wounds that stemmed not only from the inability to conceive but also from a profound sense of betrayal by the body I once trusted implicitly.
Learning to forgive my body for what felt like a betrayal of the highest order was perhaps the most challenging aspect of the journey. For years, I harbored feelings of resentment and anger towards this vessel that had failed me in the most fundamental of ways. But with time and introspection, I came to realize that true healing could only begin with forgiveness – forgiveness for the perceived shortcomings and imperfections that made me human. I admit this remains an ongoing process you can read more about here.
As we journeyed through the labyrinth of infertility, I found myself confronting not only the pain of unmet expectations but also the profound realization that the family I had once envisioned might look vastly different from the one I had imagined. It was a realization that struck me to the core – a stark reminder that life often has a way of unfolding in ways we least expect.
As we embarked on the path of adoption, guided by the shared desire to keep siblings together, our hearts brimmed with hope and anticipation. It was a decision born not only out of our own longing for parenthood but also out of a deep-seated belief in the sanctity of family and the power of love to transcend even the most daunting of obstacles.
Our journey led us to Central California, where fate intervened in the most unexpected of ways. It was here, amidst the rolling hills and golden valleys, that we found our beacon of hope – Family Connections Christian Adoptions. From the moment we walked through their doors, we knew we had found our tribe – a community of kindred spirits bound by a shared commitment to the well-being and happiness of children in need of a loving home.
Eighteen months of waiting and hoping, each day filled with a mixture of excitement and trepidation as we eagerly awaited news of a potential match. And then, just when we least expected it, our prayers were answered in the most miraculous of ways.
Not one, not two, but four precious souls – three boys and a girl, ranging in age from one to four – captured our hearts and forever changed the course of our lives.
In September 2021, we will celebrate three years together – three years filled with laughter and tears, milestones and memories, as we navigated the ups and downs of parenthood with unwavering love and devotion.
As I sit down to pen our adoption story, I am acutely aware of the profound interconnectedness of our lives with those of others – the birth parents who entrusted us with the care of their precious children, the social workers who guided us through the complexities of the adoption process, and the countless others who played a role, however small, in shaping our journey.
It is a story of love and loss, hope and resilience, woven together in a tapestry of grace and beauty. And though the words may falter and the emotions run deep, I promise to tell it with the reverence and care it deserves – a testament to the enduring power of love to transform even the most broken of hearts into something beautiful and whole.
Denise’s Dish
If you’ve been following us for a while, you may have noticed a shift in the tone and content of our blog. Yes, you’re right – this started out as a dog health and wellness blog, but like all good stories, ours has evolved over time.
As our family has grown and changed, so too has the focus of our blog. While you’ll still find plenty of tips and advice on keeping your furry friends happy and healthy – after all, our beloved white fur kid Sierra remains a central part of our lives – you’ll also notice a new element creeping into our posts: our family’s journey.
From the highs and lows of infertility to the joys of adoption and everything in between, our family’s story has become intertwined with the fabric of this blog. It’s a reflection of who we are and the journey we’ve traveled together – a journey marked by love, resilience, and the transformative power of family.
So, if you’re still on board for the adventure, we invite you to stick around. Together, we’ll explore the highs and lows of parenthood, share tips and tricks for keeping your furry friends happy and healthy, and maybe even glean a few life lessons along the way.
Thank you for being a part of our journey. We couldn’t do it without you.
Smiles, Barks, Waves, and Wagging Tails, The Gruzensky #SuperSeven